Scared of Love

I threw my covers off and stumbled to my feet.
Her nightmares invade my dreams.
The blood-curdling shrieks hammer nails in my eardrums.
I’ve turned the clock back to the day we met on a Playboy calendar I circled in red.
I never intended to scream her name in the pouring rain.
Or to see her smirk on every woman I passed. Yet such was my life.
I confronted my self-esteem in a dark alley of shallow excuses not to get over her.
But my life reflects the tension she infused in my
bones.
She swore she loved me, and then she showed me the door.
Three days later, I checked my phone every other minute,
hoping I’ll get the chance to forget not being good enough.
She called, saying love scared her.
I sigh, thanking God.

(© 2022 AC)

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