Don’t get caught up in the details, Rachel said
But how am I ever supposed to trust you again? I said.
Oh, please. Save it, Ben. It’s not like you didn’t know what was going on.
But why? I held my hands over my eyes.
Rachel raised then lowered her arms. Because he’s got…
What? More money?
What? A bigger dick?
It’s just that he’s…
What? Spit it out.
It’s just … he’s not you.
Don’t love me anymore?
I’m scared I’m falling too fast.
What does that even mean?
It means I’m scared I’m going to lose you, so I tried to fuck it up before you left me, Rachel said. Sabotage. I think that’s what I tried to do.
If it makes you feel any better, I was going to ask your father to marry you.
And now you’re not? Rachel crinkled her eyes. Come on. It’s me, Rachel. I wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.
I think you’d better leave.
Okay, Rachel said. She went to her car and brought a gas can. She splashed the content around my house and lit a match.
What the fuck are you doing? I said.
If I can’t have you, no one can.